For the past 8-9 months, my wife and I have been travelling down a tunnel with a light at the end of it. Pretty soon we'll come out of this tunnel and into the light more commonly referred to as 'parenthood'. Yes, it's great and all slaps on the back are appreciated, as I'm sure I'll be returning those slaps down the track trying to get people’s attention and ask "What the hell have we gotten ourselves into???" All jokes (and submerged fear) aside, my wife and I are as mentally prepared as we think we can be for the big event and the future beyond. Or are we?
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| They may be small, but they hold our future in their hands |
When preparing for the arrival of a child much like we have been, we have gotten, and been given, all the advice in the world and had our heads in every book and website trying to learn how and what to do on the big day and forever thereafter. All the possible equipment we could ever use has been purchased and every possible bit of clothing a child could need has been given or handed-down from family and friends. There's nothing like the unity of community that the arrival of a child brings - I'm happy to have found that out.
But with all the preparation that has taken place and with every best intention of landing on our feet and running when the baby arrives, we were stopped in our tracks recently when someone asked,
"So, where have you put your names down for day-care?".
But with all the preparation that has taken place and with every best intention of landing on our feet and running when the baby arrives, we were stopped in our tracks recently when someone asked,
"So, where have you put your names down for day-care?".
Unfortunately my reply was, "Day-care? Bugger. Day-care. Yeah, right. Ummmmmmm........?"
Ok, so we hadn't thought of something as simple as day-care. But why should we? Its two years away at best and there are more pressing things to worry about for the moment. But as anyone living in a major Australian city will tell you, you have to book as soon as you know you've conceived to assure yourself a privileged spot in one of these money-sucking institutions.
Taking this new chore on board and penciling it into the 'to-do' list, a few more questions began to pop up in our minds. The first question that jumped at us was: where the hell are we going to be in 2-5 years? I mean there's no point running around putting our names down with a half-dozen day-cares in our area if we we’re not even planning on being in the same area in the future.
The second question we were forced to ask was: how involved were our parents and friends going to be with this child and how much help could we rely on once my wife was due to go back to her job after a year’s parental leave?
There were no easy answers for either questions, but two solutions did present themselves fairly quickly. One was made possible by simply moving closer to my mother in time to come. The distance for her to travel to baby-sit the child became shorter making help from her more accessible and available. The other solution though practical as well, unfortunately, is not so helpful because it does not exist - day-care in the city.
"Of course day-care exists in the city, kurat!” I hear you think. And you’re right, it does exist. But not the type I have in mind.
You see, not so long ago, knowing of impending parenthood and coupled with all the changes (ne) surges in direction shown by the leadership in the SES, as well as the mini baby-boom that is occurring within the Estonian community of Sydney, the thought crossed my mind that there actually could be enough demand to make a day-care of our own within Eesti Maja. Aside from the prospect of putting together such an idea, it made complete sense to me.
Think about it. Here we have a growing brood of children within the community and parents who don't necessarily have the help and assistance they would have if they were living back home in Estonia. More often than not, these parents are living within the city limits and need a reliable place on a regular basis to place their children.
Not only that, if a day-care were created, our children would have a secondary Estonian environment to grow in, learning the Estonian language (preferably off an Estonian carer...from Estonia) in an environment they would become familiar with and come to accept Eesti Maja as a second (or at least a more familiar) home. By creating such a familiar environment for our children to start their lives with, we are creating the biggest benefit of all - we would effectively be sowing the seeds of future generations in our community. Something the community has not done in the past, but drastically needs to do now to assure its long term relevance and survival.
There are examples of similar strategies which occur in most cultural communities inside of Australia. In particular the Jewish community has a very well structured education system in Sydney. And although they do not have a regular weekday day-care, Toronto in Canada at least runs a weekend school/day-care - Toronto Eesti Seltsi Lasteaed.
To give validity to an argument that an Estonian day-care is a viable idea, there may be incentives from the Estonian government to promote culture abroad – and by that I mean education. If there is funding for Estonian language lessons (be it minimal) that are held in Eesti Maja and around Australia, surely early education of Estonias citizens (and by that I mean its junior citizens) abroad must be on the agenda as well.
The importance of an "Estonian" start in life should not be lost on those of us in Australia. With a small national population, an economy battling to get back on its feet and youth leaving by the scores in search of better opportunities abroad, Estonian culture is in need of booster shot. And why shouldn't it come from abroad? You see another question my wife and I have been pondering is how we are going to raise our child in an Estonian way, rather than just putting them through the English speaking pre-schools here. Sure they do a good job, but that component of Estonian culture we want to instil in our children could never be replicated by Australian culture.
We have become extremely conscious of giving our child the opportunity to be raised speaking two native tongues - that of Estonian and English (and not the other way around). It's almost the first question on everyone’s lips when they ask about our child, "So are you going to teach them Estonian???” Part of me wants to answer back, "Don't you mean: are we going to teach them English?” But I don't. Because what do I have to go on? I don't speak Estonian fluently, and the teaching of Estonian (both language and culture) rests entirely on the shoulders of my wife. Our child faces the prospect of beginning their life being saturated by Australian English and culture. After all, they will begin life in Australia.
For some the idea of a day-care may seem farfetched and unwarranted. I would assume they would be the people a service like this would least affect. We've seen firsthand evidence that mothers in Brisbane get together for social interaction via the 'Estraalia' TV series. But what will happen to those babies in a year’s time? What support other than themselves do those Estonian mothers in Brisbane receive? Currently none (as I understand) because they don’t have an active (though they do have a social) community or Eesti Maja like we have in Sydney.With my own personal interest and sentiment aside, I strongly believe a day-care is a feasible idea for Sydney Eesti Maja. Not only would it provide another way for our community to come together (after all, that's what a community hall like Eesti Maja is for), it could provide another avenue of income for the Maja as well as provide a badly needed service amongst a growing Estonian community here in Sydney. It gives Estonian immigrant mothers and Australian-Estonian mothers an alternative to norm day-care practices in Australia as well as going it alone.
The idea of a day-care for Sydney Eesti Maja is a valid idea, and one that could set a path for other Eesti Maja's in other cities such as Adelaide and Melbourne. If it were to be a service that offered weekdays, it would be the first of its kind for the international Estonian community (outside of Estonia) in general. It would be a massive feather in Sydneys cap.
It may seem like it should be at the bottom of the list of things Eesti Maja should get around to doing. There are never ending renovations to do and other incentive based ideas to get the community active and the money coming in. However, paint peels, ideas and opinions about what should happen to the Maja change with the direction of the wind as well. But one thing remains constant – the people inside the building. In my mind, something like a day-care should be right up the there at the top of things to do. It's forward thinking and it's investing in the greatest equity we have in our community - ourselves.
